


Escape the Room

by polyproticamory



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Dialogue Heavy, Escape the Room, Humor, Not Marvel Cinematic Universe Phase Two Compliant, Office Setting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-16
Updated: 2020-07-16
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:20:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25317448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/polyproticamory/pseuds/polyproticamory
Summary: Avengers play Escape the Room to work on team building.
Kudos: 15





	Escape the Room

**Author's Note:**

> Hey all,  
> I was going through some old fics and found this thing I started in 2015. Since I started it four years ago, I don't have a whole lot of phase three Marvel characters.  
> Hope it brings you some laughter. I've been pretty stressed out lately, so coming across this gave me a good chuckle. But also, ngl, I thought about how Escape the Room is definitely NOT something I would want to be doing right now with a pandemic going on.  
> Still, enjoy!

_35:10:34 - Office Space_

The millisecond countdown on the large computer monitor only added to Bruce’s anxiety, the rapid pace of the decreasing numbers making him feel like the time slipped right through his fingers. He squeezed his eyes shut, slowing his breathing down and shutting out the sound of everyone else’s bickering.

Steve’s and Tony’s voices were the loudest, their deep tones jabbing back and forth in what would have been an effortless dance if it weren’t for the fact that they were shouting at the top of their lungs. Thor stood between them, occasionally roaring commands to calm themselves when their remarks got too heated. Underneath the argument between Steve and Tony, the sounds of Jane, Darcy, and Pepper speaking rapidly as they tried to solve one of the puzzles they unlocked, with Jane and Pepper taking the lead in bouncing ideas back and forth at a rapid-fire pace.

Bruce sighed, feeling the danger pass as he maintained his control over the Hulk, the Giant Green Rage Monster ™ rumbling comfortably in his chest, as if lightly dozing. He opened his eyes and looked over at Darcy, exchanging a look with her.

_33:04:328 - Office Space_

The mission was going poorly. Steve glanced at the clock on the monitor next to Bruce, feeling his heart skip a beat when he realized how much time had passed; the clock read 45:23:412 when he started his argument with Tony.

“Tony,” Steve snapped, cutting him off, “we don’t have time for this. Time’s running out and we—”

“Oh, I’m well aware of that,” Tony replied, narrowing his eyes. “But considering that we would have been done with this faster if I just had—”

“You knew the mission parameters, Tony,” Steve said, glaring back. “No technology, no weapons, nothing—”

“—Mission parameters, are you serious?” Tony exclaimed, throwing his hands up. “We’re in a goddamned game, Rogers, not out on official S.H.I.E.L.D. business—”

“Hey, children, unless you’re interested in losing this particular challenge, I think you better take a look at this,” Pepper called, her voice chipper and dangerously sweet. “I think we solved the acrostic.”

_30:54:847 - The Control Room_

The room on the monitor was utter chaos. Once the acrostic revealed the word “Ukraine,” seven of the nine people in the office space erupted into a whirlwind of movement. Darcy and Steve flipped through the pile of back issues of The New York Times in the desk drawer, Tony and Pepper looked at the spines of the binders lined up on the shelves, their fingers frantically passing over them, and Jane, Thor, and Bruce looked closely at the world map pinned to the wall, using the magnifying glass found earlier in the hour to take a closer look at Ukraine and the countries that surrounded it.

Agent Hill stared at the screen, the image slightly distorted into a fisheye to take in all corners of the room. Fury stood silently beside her, his arms crossed and one hand coming up to rub at his forehead.

“Why did we think this was a good idea?” Hill asked as Darcy’s triumphant yell sounded through the wall, and on screen seven of the nine people gathered around the front section of the Times that Darcy held in her hands.

“I have a feeling that thought was not heavily involved in this decision,” Fury growled as he watched Jane, Pepper, Thor, and Bruce try the date of the newspaper on the four remaining locks in the room. “It was a suggestion from Coulson, to see if the team could further form a cohesive unit. This is the last time I listen to his advice.”

“Hawkeye and Widow aren’t even doing anything,” Hill pointed out, her finger hovering near their position on the screen. “They’re just looking at the ceiling…”

_28:45:127 - Office Space_

A loud buzzer sound filled the room, making everyone drop their tasks and cover their ears. The intercom in the ceiling crackled to life.

“Remember, no breaking the building amenities. Including the air ducts.”

_27:30:328 - The Control Room_

“Thank you, Christopher.”

“No problem, man. Er, sir. Director Fury,” the young man in the computer chair stammered, gulping audibly as he continued to watch the screen.

_26:44:280 - Office Space_

Clint shrugged, his arms crossed loosely as he continued to look up at the ceiling. “I can get that vent opened before they can unlock the door and catch us, so we can probably ignore—”

“You heard them, Clint, no messing with the building amenities,” Steve said, a small sigh lacing through his words.

“I’m just saying, I can get us out of here without that damn key—”

“We’re going to complete this mission, and we’re going to do it right—”

“Here we go again with the mission talk!” Tony burst out, throwing his hands in the air. “This is a game, Capsicle, not a life or death situation—”

“And if it were, Tony? You know that Fury put us up to this to see if we can come together as a team to solve a simple puzzle—”

“You know, you haven’t actually solved any of the puzzles,” Jane pointed out, looking up from the directional lock she was fiddling with. “It’s been either me or Pepper making any sense of the clues, and Thor, Darcy, and Bruce are the only ones who have actually found anything useful in the room.”

“Hey, I found the actual acrostic,” Tony pouted, crossing his arms.

Bruce called over, “Guys, quit it, I got the lock on the mini fridge—”

“And then you pushed it into my hands to figure it out because you reasoned that you had done your job,” Pepper snapped, glaring at Tony. “At least Steve has been trying to keep us on track so we can get out of here sooner rather than later—”

“Here,” Clint said, taking the Chipotle bag from Bruce’s hands. “Anything else in there?”

“Nothing that I can see, but I’ll keep looking for compartments, false bottoms, you know.” Bruce looked up at Natasha who had positioned herself cross-legged on top of the part of the desk directly above the mini fridge. “You seem awfully calm,” Bruce pointed out, raising an eyebrow.

Natasha shrugged. “I found the solution online. It doesn’t seem fair to get in the middle of it.” She waved a hand in the direction of the fridge beneath her. “But there’s a false back to the door that apparently gets stuck more often than not, so you kinda have to punch it to get it loose.”

_23:20:874 - The Control Room_

Christopher threw his hands up, taking his headset off with a huff. He pushed back and got out of the chair, yelling over to another guy at a different monitor with headphones on that covered most of his head. “Josh! We need to do another online sweep.”

Hill and Fury exchanged a look.

_22:16:239 - Office Space_

The false back to the mini fridge turned out to be a red herring, and the Chipotle bag had a cardboard container of fake guacamole with a plastic lid, fake tortilla chips, and a greasy receipt that showed not only the chips and guac, but a chicken burrito and a large soft drink. Bruce took the lid off the trash can in the corner again, paying closer attention to the various wrappers, while Steve went to the lock underneath the desk to input the total on the receipt. 

“It’s not working!” Steve said, denting the metal drawer with the force of how hard he threw the lock into it. “It’s gotta be something else.”

“You sure you’re putting it in right?” Tony teased, “The tumblers on those locks are awfully small—”

“Of course I put it in right—”

“Oo, dirty—”

“Shut up both of you,” Jane said. She pulled on the lock and slipped it out of the drawer loops. “You put the numbers in upside down, Steve.” 

Steve’s jaw clenched and a blush rose up his cheeks. Tony kept his laughter quiet, pressing a hand to his mouth, but he jumped up and down. “Oh, that’s rich. That’s so good. I wish I had a gif of that face you’re making right now.”

“Shut up, Tony,” Jane said, emerging with a manila folder that contained a polaroid photo of a wall graffitied with the words ‘Almost There!’ and a set of keys on a ring with fuzzy dice. “Go try these on all the locks in the room. Including the front one. If we’re lucky, we don’t have to spend another goddamn minute locked in here.”

_15:29:334 - Control Room_

“What are they missing?” Agent Hill asked, her arms crossed. The people on the screen were completely trashing the room, trying to find another lock, as the keys on the ring didn’t open any of them. 

“The trash liner,” Christopher said, taking a fistful of popcorn from the bag Fury had offered him. “If you take it off, there’s another lockbox in there, which has another key, which opens the other filing cabinet…”

“Which has the key to the front door,” Fury finished. “But since Bruce didn’t see anything in the trash…”

“He gave up too early,” Christopher said. He took a sharp inhale of breath when he saw Darcy dive into the trash can again, but then she emerged again shortly after, her nose wrinkling at the smell. “Oh, they’re never going to get it.”

“It’s going to be a nightmare if they fail this,” Agent Hill groaned, rubbing her temple with one hand. 

“Don’t give up on them yet,” Fury said, his eyes following Jane’s sprint across the room to the trash can. 

_14:13:123 - Office Space_

“Tie that up, Darce,” Jane said, twisting the garbage bag, which was now mysteriously dripping.

“Gross.” Darcy gagged as she handed the bag over to Thor, who tied it so tight that the bag ripped and spilled out all over the carpet.

“Someone else’s problem,” Tony said breezily. He tossed Jane the key as she pulled a slim box that was taped to the bottom of the trash can, painted over so that it blended into the bottom.

“Not one. more. minute,” Jane said as she tested each key before finally unlocking it with the smallest, most unobtrusive one on the ring. She pulled the new brass key out of the box then fumbled it into the pile of trash, which Bruce tore into with enthusiasm, accidentally flinging the key away. Clint caught it with a smooth motion, and he tossed it to Steve who was standing by the file cabinet. 

Steve held the key to the light then looked around the room. “Alright, team,” he said, voice gravelly and weighty. “This is it—”

“Please just unlock the cabinet,” Pepper interrupted. Her hair had fallen out of its neat ponytail, and her eyeliner was smudged slightly along one eye. Everyone in the room was in various states of disarray, wrinkled shirts, smudged glasses, messy hair, except for Natasha who was still perched on top of the mini fridge, an eyebrow raised at Steve. 

“Right,” Steve said, another blush rising up his face. He turned to the cabinet. “Here goes nothing.”

_12:34 - Outside the Office_

The flash seemed to punch Bruce in the eyes, but he grinned nonetheless as he held the chalkboard sign that was emblazoned with their solve time. The others held plastic placards with various slogans—Tony’s said MIT WAS MY FALLBACK, and he draped a pink feather boa around his shoulders. 

Steve stood proudly in the middle, holding the time sign along with Bruce, his spine straight and his jaw clenched, but a small smile turning up the corners of his lips. He had slicked his hair back into its usual style, though he missed a spot right around his ear. Darcy, standing behind him despite her much shorter stature, saw and reached out to fix it, her hand seeming to float behind Steve in several of the photos the room makers took of the group.

“Congratulations, team,” Fury said, regarding them all coolly. “You fulfilled the parameters of the mission.”

“Mission,” Tony scoffed. Steve smirked and glanced at the brunet man, shaking his head. 

Fury continued as if he hadn’t been interrupted. “Hopefully you all learned a valuable lesson today.”

“Don’t let Steve handle any technology from after 1940?” Bruce quipped.

“Don’t give Tony any job you expect to be done in a timely manner?” Pepper said.

“Always take out the trash?” Clint said, scratching behind his ear. 

Thor gathered all of them in his large arms, his joyous eyes hidden behind a pair of oversized, pink-framed Ray Bans. “We fight together!” Thor roared, “or not at all!”

Natasha exchanged a look with Agent Hill, smiling. 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm occasionally on [tumblr](https://polyproticamory.tumblr.com/), but more often yelling on [Twitter](https://www.twitter.com/cecaroliena).


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